Monday, April 20, 2009
I previously wrote about MomLogic a couple of times. I really love this community! I have forged many relationships there and joined a TON of groups, and now I'm hoping to be considered as the Mother of All Bloggers. Even though my blog is relatively new, I still think I can win this! Another plus about belonging to this community is that I've also won quite a few prizes from them, including a necklace worth $400, a 5 Factor Diet book, and more that I will tell you about when the time is right! Not too shabby!
MomLogic and the Mom Bloggers Club have teamed up to find the best mom bloggers out there! (If you're interested in entering, you have to have your post up by tomorrow! Click here for more info!)
Here's what Mom Logic is to me:
1 - Being there for your children no matter what.
2 - Listen, and don't judge. They come to us for a reason and NEED us to listen!
3 - Don't sweat the small stuff.
4 - Treasure your time with your children.
To embellish a little bit... I'll fill you in on my Moms. Yes, I have two. I was adopted at the age of 2.5 years old. I was lucky enough to have a TON of people who loved me and wanted the best for me.
Note to anyone in my family who reads this, I mean no disrespect.
My adoptive mother was very overprotective and in my opinion, controlling. I felt as though I wasn't given enough "rope to hang myself with". I did well in school and I wasn't doing drugs or drinking. And, I was still a virgin. Yet, I got in trouble and grounded ALOT. Yes, I did things to get to that point, but to me: It wasn't that serious.
I'm allowed to say that. I'm 31, almost 32 years. I have children, and I'm entitled to my opinion.
With my own children, I'm not sooo strict that I'll push them away but they do have boundaries. (And yes, they try to push those boundaries. HUMANS do that, not just children!) My philosophy is: If it's not that serious, it's not that serious.
I never, in any way, shape or form, wish to make my children feel the way I felt growing up. I want to be there for them and be on their side, no matter what. That's what we all want, right? Someone in our corner? Yes, we all need that!
To this day, I feel like I'm being judged by my adoptive mother. In comparison, my birth mother (who I found about 10 years ago and who has since passed on), always listened, never judged, and gave advice that didn't come across as condescending. That was such a breath of fresh air to me! I love my adoptive mother no matter what, but up until a few years ago, I couldn't speak to her without crying. It was nice to be able to have someone to talk to when I needed to talk about ANYTHING, and I miss it.
I had problems growing up, and the result is that my adoptive family and I are, for the most part, estranged. Yeah, we speak, but there's no real relationship. We don't visit. My children don't "know" their grandparents. Do I like it? No. I feel like I'm being held accountable for things that I did when I was younger and my hormones (and not logic) were controlling my emotions. Now, 16 years later, I'm a single mom of 3 who has turned her life around 360 degrees. I've made bad choices, I've had to deal with the consequences, and learn from them.
I am in no means, my children's "friend" and I tell them that pretty regularly. (Let's be clear on one thing: They'll ask certain questions relating to this, and get this answer; I don't just tell them "I'm not your friend!") But, I am supportive, accepting, and forgiving. And that's important.
I do find myself saying things that my mother did. Even though I don't want to! I hated these "certain" things when I was younger! But, she did know what she was talking about! (I give her mad props for enstilling what she enstilled into me. Her and my father did the best they could do with damaged goods!) Things like, "You'll poke your eye out!" or "You're gonna break your neck! Get down from there!" and even better still, "Because I said so!"
I say these things more often than I want to. Or even mean to!
When it comes to discipline, I'm pretty lax. Unless my kids doing something that is way over the top, or will hurt themselves, or being blatantly disrespectful, I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. They get grounded, lose privileges, and lose their favorite toys along with the best of them.
Let me tell you some more about my children. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you've seen some photos and other stories, so I'm not going to share them here. Below is a brief description of each of them and the qualities I love about them.
My son is 12 and he'll turn 13 in July. He's a great kid! He's smart, talented, and such a great young man all around! Granted, his mouth is starting to give me a run for my money, but "I got this"!
My youngest daughter is 10 and she's one of the sweetest kids I've ever met. Her compassion and kindness are to be admired. She has ADHD, which makes school and social skills hard for her, but we're working through those difficulties. Together.
My oldest daughter, long story short, lives with a Paternal Aunt. She's turning 15 this year and is such a beautiful young lady and I can only pray that she'll return to me on her own accord soon!
You may ask why I have this "Mom Logic"... Let's face it, life is stressful enough, and we never know when we're going to be gone. So why waste time being a total disciplinarian or a mean mom? Bond with your children, keep the ties strengthened, and pray that they will turn out okay. And leave it at that.
One thing I say to my kids that I hope gets on their nerves and they will say to their kids is: "If you ever do something stupid and get arrested, I'm not bailing you out." Know why? Because when you bail them out, they keep taking advantage.
For now, I'll enjoy them being young, help them with schoolwork, and help them become the people they are going to become. And enjoy them.
That's my Mom Logic.
Oh and, if you're gonna be at Mom's Nite Out, the winners will be announced then!
And if you've enjoyed my post and you enjoy reading my blog, won't you